On Tuesday, 15 September 2020, I returned to the town of Harlech, in the country of Gwynedd, North Wales. It was my first time back since June 1987. Two years earlier, September 1985, I had arrived at Coleg Harlech by a most curious path. A large multi-national firm was my employer back then, but my manager had advised me to leave and go back to college to try and improve my employment chances by advancing my academic qualifications. It seems that he had submitted me for an internal junior management development scheme, but that senior management had knocked back his recommendation on the grounds that they had only agreed to him hiring me because I had a green card. Back then disabled people were encouraged to register for employment with the government sponsored green card scheme. Large employers were expected to have on their books a percentage of disabled people, each in possession of a green card. In mine, and probably many other people’s cases, the green card became more valuable than the person holding it. Quota systems have a funny way of skewing things like that.
I took my manager’s advice, went back to college as an adult, got some A-Levels, and applied to Coleg Harlech to undertake a two year residential course studying English Literature and Philosophy; obviously, I was accepted. Coleg Harlech had at its heart a simple truth; it was a place of second chances. When I arrived in 1985 there were students of all ages. I remember a lovely woman called Iris who was in her seventies and as keen on her studies as anyone else. Class was no barrier, nor former occupations. People came from all different backgrounds and for many different reasons. For most of us Coleg Harlech was going to change our lives.
In hindsight going to Harlech might seem like a strange choice for someone with impaired mobility, the town sits on the side of a steep hill and the college is very much at the bottom of it. To get to the town to pick up groceries to supplement the food we received in the dining room, which I actually enjoyed, we would traverse what was commonly known as the ‘goat-track’, a slippery, dangerous, not very well lit mix of path and steps that brought you up to the Spar shop. Somehow, it seemed much easier to negotiate under the influence of alcohol! Yes, I did find getting around a little difficult, but back then I was only 24 when I started college and I was very determined not to be held back by my disability.
I met some wonderful people back then. I am still in contact with a few of them through social media, Caroline and Sophie being two who I remember as good friends. We were of a similar age and just got along really well together. I never had a romantic experience in Harlech, but I did have an epiphany. I remember it very well. We had been reading John Lock in Philosophy and had moved onto the more obscure book ‘Ethics’ by Baruch Spinoza. I was studying Philosophy for a particular reason; I was in search of a truth. I wanted to try and understand my place in the world. I had questions, such as why had I been born disabled? From 18 to about 22 I had been suffering with depression, but I really did not understand it as such then. Anyway, reading Spinoza brought me into contact with Pantheism, the concept that everything is one, and suddenly everything fell into place. It was like completing a jigsaw puzzle. It happened as I made my way from the tower block were we lived and towards the main-building where our lectures were held. A light came on in my head and for the first time I saw my disability as a necessary part of me. It was not a punishment from an invisible deity, it was a consequence of how the universe works. Species evolve because their genes mutate to allow them to adapt. Most mutations are hardly significant. Some prove very beneficial, like being able to sing beautifully, and some are not so kind, such as developing a very rare muscle complaint like the one I have; Myotonia Congenita.
Coleg Harlech helped me in many other ways too. At comprehensive school I had been largely written off, like most disabled people were in the 60’s and 70’s. At this wonderful college I was treated the same as everyone else. I had equality of opportunity for the first time in my life. I knew how important this gift was and I did my best with it, earning a University Wales of Diploma for English Literature and Philosophy.
In 2017 it was announced that Coleg Harlech was to close. I felt an urge to return. Unfortunately, I was convinced to undergo major surgery in 2018 and had to postpone my journey. I followed the demise of the college, which seemed to have more to do with government educational policies than the administration of the place itself. Indeed, the aspiration of the college to offer adults a second chance at education, to give them a good background in humanities, was still valid, but no longer appreciated in a world where students had become customers saddled with debt and education just another industry.
So, I finally made my return. My wife joined me. She knows how important this place has always been to me. When I was a student there she, too, was little more than an aspiration of mine. Seeing the run-down state of the college was saddening, but being back in Harlech once more awoke so many good memories. It is a pity that other people might not get the second chance that I and so many others enjoyed. We were a small part of Coleg Harlech’s 90 year history. Probably, as individuals, we had a very small impact on the place, but as an institution it had a considerable part to play in changing our lives.
Peter C Whitaker 
Your reflection makes an enjoyable read; as did your recent post about book marketing. I look forward to reading more (especially anything about marketing – that’s the hard bit)!
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I certainly agree about the marketing. I will be sharing my experiences as I go along, hopefully they might prove helpful.
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Hello Peter. I was in Coleg Harlech from 84-86 and was quite friendly with Caroline and Sophie too. I think you had long hair back then, didn’t you? I remember Joe England saying as he addressed us for the first time that some of us would meet our future partners in the college, and I thought nothing of it, but I did actually get married to Evelyn, whom I met there, in 2003! We swung by the college three or four years ago as well and were saddened to see it empty. I have lots of memories of the place – most of them involving drink, unfortunately – and I have since given up drinking! I think about it quite often. I just happened to Google it a while ago and saw your name – nice to hear your story.
Take care
Dafydd Saer
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Great to hear from you, Dafydd!
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Lovely words and memories Peter, some of which I share. Thanks for stirring them. You were one of the standout characters in my memory of ’86 -7, cutting a figure with the fine cane and dark outfits as I recall. You were a handy year ahead of me in English and Philosophy and I’d chat to you and Caroline when I got stumped. And we’d those poetry workshops in the Hotel too, forget its name…? over a few pints, with Richard Poole.
I also loved Spinoza’s Ethics, but Hegel (another fellow pantheist) gave me my big road to Damascus moment. Never slept for two days when I clicked with him coz suddenly the whole world looked differently. I felt sane for the first time in years and past, present and future all appeared less chaotic.
It’s all just dialectical. Everything! Aye, in you come Mr Marx.
Changed everything, studying philosophy and English at Harlech. It gave space, time and the luxurious privilege to dive full-time into high quality education, with unlimited time to read and think, top tutors and courses. All this set in the most beautiful scenery and landscapes, which, for me, was absolute heaven and a godsend coming off the back of 10 years in grim grey Clyde shipyards
I remember Graham Allen saying in his welcome speech (’86), “You’ll never again in your life get an opportunity like this to read as much as you can. Don’t waste it.”
I didnae.
After Harlech, I was lucky and managed another 7 years of full time academia in Stirling and Glasgow uni’s and got to read books in bed on cold Scottish mornings in January instead of hugging freezing cold metal from dark o’clock till dark o’clock.
Then I had to get a real job and now I don’t read as much.
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Hello John,
Thanks for commenting on my blog post, I am glad that it struck a chord with you. Graham Allen was certainly right, we never got another opportunity quite like the one Coleg Harlech gave us.
I ended up spending 30 years working in the Civil Service. I should have taken a year out after Coleg Harlech instead, but I did not know, and no one advised me, that I could have done that and still go onto university afterwards. A very close friend died unexpectedly towards the end of my first year at Harlech and I never realised that grief can take a long time to ease; as a result I chose the wrong university and the wrong course.
These days I manage to read about a book a month, which is not too bad. This is mostly because I am spending a lot of my time writing instead of reading. My wife would like me to become a famous and rich (emphasis on the latter) author, but I really enjoy the art of writing anyway.
Again, thanks for commenting, it was great to read your thoughts on a shared experience.
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A great piece of writing about a place I also hold dear. I have only the fondest & almost idyllic memories of that most transformative & inspirational year of my life spent in the block at Coleg Harlech.
How lucky we were to have graced that magical place.
I’m only one Euromillions win away from buying it and restoring it to its prime. I’ll have the top floor and teach study skills & English in the main building.😂😉👍
You capture the place wonderfully, right down to the trips over the rocks to the Spar. 😉👍❤️
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It was a dream of a place and I admire your lottery dream; I hope it happens! If it does we could have an amazing Coleg Harlech reunion!
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Nice one Peter; you capture the essence well. I was also at Coleg Harlech between 1985-87 and studied literature and history; was my last chance and I will ever be indebted to Graham Allen and Dave Wiltshire I hear Graham passed away recently).
Remember Harlech well; I was doing some work at the National Library for Wales and came across data from meetings relating to the college finances into the 1990/2000s which outlined its unfortunate eventual slow demise. Tragedy!!
Certainly changed my life!! Remember Sophie and Caroline as well as Gallagher and Burzio. Also my old mate Martin (RIP buddy).
Also remember Dafydd (we had a few beers together) and John who have commented above. Hope all good with you guys. All the best Kerry
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Hello Kerry!
I remember a Kerry from my time in Harlech, only not as clearly as I would like to; must be all the beer I drank in the Castle!
I hope that you are well and went on to great things after leaving the college.
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I remember you from English Literature Pete (did you do poetry in the second year?) I did Drama and spent much time drinking in the Castle and Rum Hole myself. You as well Dafydd mate can’t remember many a night out with you (always the best ones). John also in the club (remember the quiz in 1987; I still have the shield). Great times!!
I did OK; did a degree in philosophy and politics, a PhD in European politics and became a Professor of Governance. Written a few books and have one coming out this month entitled Becoming Wales: Devolution as Process (see link). Spent 25 years on this…
https://www.cambridgescholars.com/product/978-1-0364-1474-0
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I remember you well, Kerry. I have wondered to several times what you were up to. Feel free to elucidate.
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Ian H: 1968 (Green huts) -1970 (Grand Hotel,1969)
I cartwheeled to my acceptance letter in late Summer of ’68, but a few days later Coleg Harlech “burnt down” the press said.
Eventually went to a Scottish uni, but dumped a comfy career in education to go washing-up in an institution offering bed n board and a few shillings for the odd pint now and again, at the end of the ’70s, and to gain thinking time to apply a principle to the product most suited to making my fortune.
Unfortunately, I also realised a C.N-R.G/D engine which opens up the Universe to Homo Sapiens – who believes 4.2 light-years in 92 seconds? A fully-manoeuvrable, 9-degrees-of-freedom craft able to heal and eventually save Planet by placing automatic AI sunshields to cool oceans – refreeze ice-caps? – stopped me from making my fortune because realising that ten such craft might be built funded by the profits of 10 mass-production units
So still plodding on half-a-century later trying to, non-messianically, save the World.
Cost me all sorts of respectability and long playing of violin to myself.
I’ll try and keep you updated.
Look up sometime and hope to see a disappearing flash.
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